!!!UPDATES!!!

Guess it's past time for some much needed updates, just to let everyone know what is going on in my life. Absolutely NOTHING, lol. (just kidding)

Where to begin?  Well, I found out that I am finally going to be an uncle this fall, supposed to go this Tuesday to find out the sex of the baby {WOOHOO}.  I have been asked over and over, what I might think it is going to be or what I hope it will be... I could care less, as long as it is healthy!!  Just knowing that it is already spoiled rotten, is good enough for me.  Yes, I will babysit on occasion, fuel it up on lots of sugary candy & chocolates, then send it back home to the parents to deal with for the night, I CAN'T WAIT... bwah hah hah haaaaaaa.

Not sure if any of you have noticed or not, but I did change my status on Facebook from "Single" to "In a Relationship".  I know... I was surprised too!!  It is complicated, to the fact that he lives in another state at the moment and we are working on trying to get him moved down here permanently.  Some of you may disagree with this situation, moving him in right away, but he makes me happy and that is all that matters to me.  Get over it.  It's my decision to make, if it doesn't work out, then that is for me to find out, live and learn.  I'm just so tired of living the single life, I have waited my entire life for someone like him & am willing to do anything to make it work out.  Just be happy and supportive is all that I ask of my family & friends, don't stick your noses where it doesn't belong.  Who are you to say or pass judgement on me, when most of the people I know have made the same decisions in their own love lives, good or bad, whose to say what doesn't work for some, won't work for me?!?!!!  Will just have to wait and see what happens.

I am finding that I am making a lot more new friends lately, which seems to be getting me out of the house more and more. Which is a very good thing, considering I have spent most of my adult life only interacting with the people that I meet online.  Seems that I am finally living life and truly enjoying the new experiences I am having.  Having fun & being carefree, living as though I have nothing left to lose... which is a huge improvement from where I was this time last year. Those of you who know my story, will understand where I am coming from.

And last but not least, I have been invited to the most exciting event of the year, my first gay wedding/ commitment ceremony.  Even though it is not legal in the state of North Carolina, they are still calling it a wedding & it was planned long before Amendment 1 ever came into the picture. Either way, it is going to be amazing & beautiful and I can't wait to attend.  Very formal, therefore I have to rent a tux, so look for upcoming pics to be plastered on my Facebook wall, might even post a few on the blog as well.  So proud for the happy couple!!!

That's all for now, that I can think of at the moment. "Too blessed to be stressed"  Anything is possible, when the sky is the limit.

Freedom is only a click away >>>

I hadn't realized just how much of an affect you had on my heart and my mind, until just a few minutes ago. 

I was checking my facebook friends walls and ran across yours... that was the moment that it hit me.  You were talking some off the wall crap, that needed to be ignored, but it really hit me where it counts the most.  Down deep in my heart.... I guess your little mind-games and wicked words still had control over how I felt towards other guys and just men in general.  I almost lost a great friendship tonight, which all leads back to the way you treated me.  You had me completely brain-washed in believing that you had true genuine feelings for me.  But that wasn't the case, was it.  I was just your escape, a way out of your own pathetic excuse of a life.  I see that now, all too clearly.

You knew all the right words to say, to get me to believe your coniving, back-handed ways of thinking.  I was convinced that you cared for me, that you loved me, you even was the one to say it first.  Actually, you were the only one to say it!!  I never uttered those words... ever... to anyone before.  But I thought that it had to be true, because of the things you were saying sounded very heartfelt & sincere.  I felt sorry for you, and even pity for the stories you had told me about your upbringing and your background of the pain & abusive things you had to endure while growing up.  I won't go into details here, because it is not my story to tell, it was yours!!  Whether it was true or not, still remains to be seen.  It doesn't matter, that just because you had to endure it, you used it to your advantage to get people's sympathy and kind gestures to turn things around in your favor, to get what it was you wanted most... attention!  That is just mean and wrong on so many levels.  Not to mention it changed the way that I feel and look at men now. 

Trust is a big issue for me, always has & always will be.  It is hard enough for a single gay man to try to find a partner in this world today.  Let alone, one that is decent, trustworthy, kind, sincere, caring, monagomous or even interested in you for just being you and not just about sex!!!  I thought you were all of that, Boy was I ever wrong!!!

So, tonight, I did the one thing I should have done after the day I finally got to meet you.  After driving for four hours non-stop. After weeks and months of crying myself to sleep, in a deep depression, wondering what it was I had done to deserve to be treated like that. Thinking I was better off dead or to disappear off the face of the earth, to go where noone else could ever find me again.  Where I didn't have to worry about being hurt like that ever again.  And I wouldn't have to think about guys or love or asking myself those same questions over and over that would never get answered. After all of that, the lightswitch popped on over my head. I had finally found the freedom I was looking for to get over you once and for all.  I have blocked you, deleted you from my contacts, erased any and all messages and/or bad memories that I have of you from my life.

But proudly, I can say now that, I'm a little bit stronger. I have a little bit more confidence now & know what it is I have to do to find the peace and happiness that I so greatly deserve and am trying to achieve in my life.  I have to love and respect my self more now, to make damn sure that people like you and this sort of thing never happens to me or anyone else ever again!!!!!!

If there is a lesson to be learned here, it should be this... that no matter what hurt or pain you have suffered from the hands of someone else - You can move on with your life, and be happy once again. You can learn to leave them in the past and focus on your future.  There will come a day when it will only be a bad memory, like a bad dream, this too shall pass. You can have your freedom back from these bullies, abusers, brain-washers and demons that you have encountered.  Life does go on, so try to take it one day at a time & make each one of them count.  You should live each day as if though it were your last. Cherish each breath you take & each moment that takes your breath away. Love those around you & let them know just how much they mean to you today, right now, right this second, because they might not be around later. 

To each one of you reading this right now, if I havent told you lately, I love and cherish each and every one of you. Til we meet again, take care & may God watch over you and protect you til then.

WANTED: Single Friends

In search of single friends here, ones to go hang out with & have a good time with.  With no worries about feeling like a 3rd-wheel in the sea of couples.  Need to feel like I belong to something, not like an outsider looking in at all the happy people who have someone in their lives and are actually in love, but to be around other single friends who knows what it's like to feel alone & lonely.  Not looking for a sad pity group, but a cool bunch of people who enjoy going out or coming over to hang out at a friends house to just enjoy some quality time together & talk about things, just to have some fun & excitement.

I have heard of people talking about having travel companions, people who take trips together with no strings attached, only to maybe share the gas & food expenses.  But to go somewhere other than your hometown, even if only to just take a drive up through the Blue Ridge Parkway to see all the fall colors changing on the trees or up to Amish country to buy some apple butter or out to the Outer Banks of North Carolina, just to see the lighthouses & feel the cool ocean breeze.  I want that spontaneity of just getting in the vehicle and driving til we can't drive no more.  And discover whatever it is around us where we have arrived at.  To walk into all the little shops and country stores to see the different wares and cultural knick-knacks that are sold there that you can't find in your local Wal-Mart or other big-chain grocery store.  Just the experience alone, would be amazing and rewarding. 

Who is with me?  Who wants to go on this journey with me?  No plans, no worries, no commitments, no pressure, no strings attached.  Just an adventure, a trip to anywhere, locally or a few hours drive to somewhere other than here.  I know times are hard, and money is tight for most people (if not all people).  It doesn't have to be a big planned out expensive thing, where you have to stay in a big fancy hotel or eat at the finest restaurants.  We can pack lunches, sleep in the vehicle, or it could be just a day-trip sort of thing, where we drive there and back in the same day, or it could be a 2-day weekend trip, driving up on a Friday evening or Saturday morning then come back on Sunday afternoon late.  Doesn't matter to me, just to get away from it all & have a fun time out on the open road.  Discovering small town charms & southern hospitality at it's finest.  Searching for the destinations and memories that will make for an awesome trip of a lifetime.  It's the simple little things that can make you happy, just to get out and discover them for yourself, to live life to the fullest and take advantage of every precious moment. 

If you are tired of spending another dull day stuck in your sleepy little town, or don't wanna spend another weekend all alone in your house.  Ready to get out and explore life for yourself, instead of hearing about all your coupled friends trips and adventures, then it is time to take charge of the situation and go out and grab life by the horns and just do it.  Would love to hear some feedback from truly interested people only.  Click on the comment button below and please leave your suggestions and remarks, only if you are ready to go on this journey with me.  I only have two questions, "When do we leave?" & "How do we get there from here?".