All the fight is gone, the search is over. I am giving up all hopes of finding the "One". He does not exist, he is not out there waiting for me. It is only a myth, a dream, a fantasy. It is happiness unfulfilled, a dream that will never become a reality, a made up story that only happens in the movies. I do not believe it is meant to happen for myself. If it was, it would've already happened by now.
I will end up being a sad & miserable old man, grumpy and pathetic. Someone that noone ever wants to go visit or talk to... oh wait, that is happening now!!!
I have been out & have flirted til there is nothing left to give anymore. No desire to even try to impress anyone anymore, not like I was hitting on much before the weight loss anyways. So, why should I start now?!?! Seems like the only guys I find interesting live hours away from me or in an entirely different state allgother. I sure have looked around here and the selections are slim to none. Unless I decide to move away from here in a year or so, sell my house & move up into the mountains to become a hermit, pretty much like Im doing now, or out towards the beach, which has always been my life long dream to live near water... nothing new or exciting is gonna happen in my life. I'm not even sure that people are truly reading these blogs, cept for a few comments made by my closest select friends. No comments. So this will be my last blog for a while, I am done writing about it and praying about it. God must be punishing me for something I have done & not quite sure what that is yet. Depressed & alone... forever!
I keep hearing people say, "oh, your so cute, your so sweet, you should have no problems finding someone". But I beg to differ, this has been the toughest thing I have ever tried to do in my life. Men are pigs, they only want one thing. Don't get me wrong, I want the same thing, but that isn't all I want, and it's not one of the biggest priorities on my list. I've talked about the need for romance and passion, but that is a lost cause. No guy out there is wanting that. They are only interested in a quickie, something to satisfy their needs and then they are gone in a flash. That is not what I am about.
I have decided to take a personal vow of celibacy & have followed it closely for the past 5 months. That's right, I said it... NO SEX until I can find the right person to break the curse. Maybe it will be possible to become a virgin again. WOOHOO, something I thought I would never hear myself saying, I want to be a virgin again. I want the next time that I decide to lay down with someone, that it will feel like the first time all over again.
Feeling depressed and alone, something I am gonna have to just get used to, have been for some time now. A co-worker asked me the other day if everything was ok, that I looked so sad & was quieter than usual. She told me that I usually hide it so well. But Im tired of trying to hide it, it is only making things worse.
I am not asking for pity, for anyone to feel sorry for me. It is what it is. I am just sitting here blabbing about it, to get it off my chest. If you wanna listen to me, fine, if you don't, fine. I don't really have the strength to even care anymore. I am exhausted & worn out from trying to give a shit about anything, what's the use. Farewell, if I get a feeling to write again, so be it. :(
Friday, October 21, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
WANTED: Single Friends
In search of single friends here, ones to go hang out with & have a good time with. With no worries about feeling like a 3rd-wheel in the sea of couples. Need to feel like I belong to something, not like an outsider looking in at all the happy people who have someone in their lives and are actually in love, but to be around other single friends who knows what it's like to feel alone & lonely. Not looking for a sad pity group, but a cool bunch of people who enjoy going out or coming over to hang out at a friends house to just enjoy some quality time together & talk about things, just to have some fun & excitement.
I have heard of people talking about having travel companions, people who take trips together with no strings attached, only to maybe share the gas & food expenses. But to go somewhere other than your hometown, even if only to just take a drive up through the Blue Ridge Parkway to see all the fall colors changing on the trees or up to Amish country to buy some apple butter or out to the Outer Banks of North Carolina, just to see the lighthouses & feel the cool ocean breeze. I want that spontaneity of just getting in the vehicle and driving til we can't drive no more. And discover whatever it is around us where we have arrived at. To walk into all the little shops and country stores to see the different wares and cultural knick-knacks that are sold there that you can't find in your local Wal-Mart or other big-chain grocery store. Just the experience alone, would be amazing and rewarding.
Who is with me? Who wants to go on this journey with me? No plans, no worries, no commitments, no pressure, no strings attached. Just an adventure, a trip to anywhere, locally or a few hours drive to somewhere other than here. I know times are hard, and money is tight for most people (if not all people). It doesn't have to be a big planned out expensive thing, where you have to stay in a big fancy hotel or eat at the finest restaurants. We can pack lunches, sleep in the vehicle, or it could be just a day-trip sort of thing, where we drive there and back in the same day, or it could be a 2-day weekend trip, driving up on a Friday evening or Saturday morning then come back on Sunday afternoon late. Doesn't matter to me, just to get away from it all & have a fun time out on the open road. Discovering small town charms & southern hospitality at it's finest. Searching for the destinations and memories that will make for an awesome trip of a lifetime. It's the simple little things that can make you happy, just to get out and discover them for yourself, to live life to the fullest and take advantage of every precious moment.
If you are tired of spending another dull day stuck in your sleepy little town, or don't wanna spend another weekend all alone in your house. Ready to get out and explore life for yourself, instead of hearing about all your coupled friends trips and adventures, then it is time to take charge of the situation and go out and grab life by the horns and just do it. Would love to hear some feedback from truly interested people only. Click on the comment button below and please leave your suggestions and remarks, only if you are ready to go on this journey with me. I only have two questions, "When do we leave?" & "How do we get there from here?".
I have heard of people talking about having travel companions, people who take trips together with no strings attached, only to maybe share the gas & food expenses. But to go somewhere other than your hometown, even if only to just take a drive up through the Blue Ridge Parkway to see all the fall colors changing on the trees or up to Amish country to buy some apple butter or out to the Outer Banks of North Carolina, just to see the lighthouses & feel the cool ocean breeze. I want that spontaneity of just getting in the vehicle and driving til we can't drive no more. And discover whatever it is around us where we have arrived at. To walk into all the little shops and country stores to see the different wares and cultural knick-knacks that are sold there that you can't find in your local Wal-Mart or other big-chain grocery store. Just the experience alone, would be amazing and rewarding.
Who is with me? Who wants to go on this journey with me? No plans, no worries, no commitments, no pressure, no strings attached. Just an adventure, a trip to anywhere, locally or a few hours drive to somewhere other than here. I know times are hard, and money is tight for most people (if not all people). It doesn't have to be a big planned out expensive thing, where you have to stay in a big fancy hotel or eat at the finest restaurants. We can pack lunches, sleep in the vehicle, or it could be just a day-trip sort of thing, where we drive there and back in the same day, or it could be a 2-day weekend trip, driving up on a Friday evening or Saturday morning then come back on Sunday afternoon late. Doesn't matter to me, just to get away from it all & have a fun time out on the open road. Discovering small town charms & southern hospitality at it's finest. Searching for the destinations and memories that will make for an awesome trip of a lifetime. It's the simple little things that can make you happy, just to get out and discover them for yourself, to live life to the fullest and take advantage of every precious moment.
If you are tired of spending another dull day stuck in your sleepy little town, or don't wanna spend another weekend all alone in your house. Ready to get out and explore life for yourself, instead of hearing about all your coupled friends trips and adventures, then it is time to take charge of the situation and go out and grab life by the horns and just do it. Would love to hear some feedback from truly interested people only. Click on the comment button below and please leave your suggestions and remarks, only if you are ready to go on this journey with me. I only have two questions, "When do we leave?" & "How do we get there from here?".
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